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another unwantedby the light of a dying day
as unhappily as my heart could beat,
as breaths could sing,
Did I ever choose?
I think not.
just give a hushed
seal it with a
m a gic s p ell,
t a l e to
IllusionIridescent illusions fleeting across a crumbling path,
as trembling hands sew
what is left of
a lovely visage.
that send the world
falling to its knees,
as the backdrop of the universe
bends against the will
of its god,
and the fear-stricken children
of this realm are demolished
upon swimming in never-ending flows
of hate and ignorance.
Open your eyes,
all that seems to be beneficial
to your rotting human existence,
will drain you of your will to live.
Your body, like the discards of a dull record
on a lifeless day,
will be disposed of
like the waste of flesh that it is.
WaitI have to take a second look,
delve into the past that has shaped the sufferings of my mind,
I stepped on the shards of the mirror,
my blood covers the floor.
I realize that I am barefoot, that I am not breathing.
Who is this?
A scar sits upon my chest, from where I attempted
to pierce my lungs,
but the few tears I cried
were those of happiness.
What have I become?
I am confused,
all the papers have been scattered, and I search
for the one that bears the truth,
as soon as the building is set to flames.
I inhale the smoke.
Too familiar of a feeling.
HazinessHaziness of the lights, blurred vision
breath shortened to weak rasps,
hands frail, the weapon is dropped,
and into the room the rest run.
Faces looming above, they stare you down,
eyes filled with fight, tears falling,
echoing in the chambers of my mind.
Cloth to neck,
panic and fury,
our eyes meet.
Slight smile, clothing is colored bright.
Final sight of your lips, and darkness floods,
as faint sirens screech
in the distance.
I Love YouI love you more than anything
more than anyone,
I'll miss you more than I miss anything,
even the bliss that I had lost
I want you more than my hidden desires
that tug at my aching heart
But it seems that you have ran off,
out of my arms,
and out of sight
And I'm sorry
for saying all the wrong words,
and being all the wrong things.
I love you
so even if you don't come back,
my love will forever be for no one but you.
To Whom it Doesn't ConcernHello.
I've truly realized how none of you care.
You act as if you do, but in the end, you are concerned with no one but yourselves.
I had never asked for much. A simple kindness was worth too much to give, it seems, but I understand.
I wasn't the person you were looking to give it to.
I learned that I've never wanted to be.
Never wanted to breathe, never wanted to live.
Mostly because, there is nothing worth living for, not even myself.
Why must I suffer? Why do I let myself face this agony and this pain?
You say that this is selfish, because it'll only inflict pain upon others, but there'll be none.
Because you don't care.
It is selfish of you to degrade me for wanting release, for letting me crumble and wither away.
But you don't care.
You're just like everyone else. And hopefully you will suffer just as much as I have to.
It's unbearable. It's indescribable.
It's consumed me.
I've turned into this monster.
And it's time that I rid the world of it.
I don't careI no longer care
It's just a mere wound,
just another drop of blood,
and just a little sob.
It becomes routine,
part of the coldness of your hearts.
Please tell me why God has chosen me
to live on this planet.
Somberly, along this oppressive path.
I wanted nothing.
And you got everything.
ViolinI remember the day
you told me violins
were strung with cat gut
and that is why
you hated music
(who says that to a child?)
I followed you
all that summer.
I watched you
grow away from mother -
your whiskey held better conversations
and all she did was cry.
We'd sit cross-legged on the porch
and count the horseflies
settling on our lunch.
You would drown tadpoles
in a bucket
surprised they could not swim
and I would dream
of cherry popsicles.
And when night would gather
on the sidewalk
I'd hold my breath
until a star appeared.
Don't bother making wishes
you'd tell me -
stars are dead weight in heaven
and God has cloth ears.
My School Says I'm Worthless (sort of a rant)I'm a criminal because my values aren't their values
And I'm scum to say the least
Because I'm not on their list
Ones who have their lives set out
And drink from molten glory raining down from
School top balconies...
And I have myself left to blame for all the non-attempts
And truancies; the bleak distractions
That help me escape the inviolable test-score stares
Of disapproval that I attract from their
And they're forced to ask me 'Why?
Why are you still here?'
And I can barely say
That I'm afraid to leave.
That I know that no-one knows
Or what they want to be
But unlike those
I gave up
A while ago
And they can't tell me to my face that I'm a failure so they heavily imply
That my lacking presence
And even less impressive
Tendency for slacking off is evidence
That I am stupid and a fool and nothing more than such a waste of resources
And it's a disappointment
That I don't hold their ideals
VesselYour heart is a compass.
Broken, perhaps, but I know
It’s always searching for the North Star.
Which way will your beard point tonight?
DanielYou are vertebrae
reinforced with titanium
that does not make you the lesser -
You’ve got the weight of the world
on one shoulder
sometimes you trip because of it -
you’re still walking
and if things fused wrong
post or anterior
and if things fused out in the interior
your circuits live on
and if your thoughts get circular
or so do your moods
and your mind blanks and you forget -
you’re nervous but strong -
then I’ll remind you.
Because you give me
the backbone required
you’re my Atlas, so I lift my head,
you’re my axis, so I can face the future
because you are vertebrae
reinforced with titanium.
You’re my inner strength.
FallingFailure after failure
A life not worth living
Lost in my misery
Long gone are the good moments
I keep falling
Nothing can save me now
Gone my hopes are
Because He'sHe’s listening
Millions of them.
A flash of red
And a navy hat
No warning – now motionless
With skin turned to shadows.
You and ILingering through my dreams,
Grasping my hand,
in a gentle dance,
across the field of swaying flowers.
Holding you close,
embracing against the shine of the sun,
soothed by the touch of the wind.
And laying in the rain,
just you and I,
hoping to be yours till the end of time.
I close my eyes,
till the beating of the rain
A Bloody, Stupid Miracle The day we’d cured the human condition was the day I put a bullet through my head and didn’t die. It was also the day I realized how scared I actually was of death, and after hours of muscle ache from holding that gauze against my open skull, after the wound closed and everything went back to normal, I had myself a good old-fashioned brainstorm. How ironic.
But when summer came, everything had fallen to shit. The air scorched my skin and parched my tongue every time I took a breath. The sun glared down on a rapidly-collapsing world, full of the undying bastard children of cruelty and misfortune. What was one to do when their cells regenerated faster than they decomposed?
My feet hit the pavement, now littered with jagged bits of glass to snap at my toes, thoroughly baked by the blazing ball of bitter disdain high overhead. Today was worse than yesterday. Though I’d often wondered the purpose of it anymore, I
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