another unwantedby the light of a dying dayi retreatas unhappily as my heart could beat,as breaths could sing,Did I ever choose?I think not.just give a hushed "oh well."seal it with am a gic s p ell,you're justANOTHERt a l e totell?
Do YouRestlessness Thy eyes see no polished diamondJust thy swollen fallacies
IllusionIridescent illusions fleeting across a crumbling path,as trembling hands sewwhat is left ofa lovely visage.Imminent disastersthat send the worldfalling to its knees,as the backdrop of the universebends against the willof its god,and the fear-stricken childrenof this realm are demolishedupon swimming in never-ending flowsof hate and ignorance.Open your eyes,all that seems to be beneficialto your rotting human existence,will drain you of your will to live.Your body, like the discards of a dull recordon a lifeless day,will be disposed oflike the waste of flesh that it is.
WaitI have to take a second look,delve into the past that has shaped the sufferings of my mind,I stepped on the shards of the mirror,my blood covers the floor.I realize that I am barefoot, that I am not breathing.Who is this?A scar sits upon my chest, from where I attemptedto pierce my lungs,but the few tears I criedwere those of happiness.What have I become?I am confused,all the papers have been scattered, and I searchfor the one that bears the truth,as soon as the building is set to flames.I inhale the smoke.Too familiar of a feeling.
HazinessHaziness of the lights, blurred visionbreath shortened to weak rasps,hands frail, the weapon is dropped,and into the room the rest run.Faces looming above, they stare you down,eyes filled with fight, tears falling,cries echoing,echoing,echoing in the chambers of my mind.Go away.Cloth to neck,panic and fury,our eyes meet.Slight smile, clothing is colored bright.Final sight of your lips, and darkness floods,as faint sirens screechin the distance.
You and ILingering through my dreams,Grasping my hand,in a gentle dance,across the field of swaying flowers.Holding you close,embracing against the shine of the sun,soothed by the touch of the wind.And laying in the rain,just you and I,hoping to be yours till the end of time.I close my eyes,and hopetill the beating of the rainceases.
I Love YouI love you more than anythingmore than anyone,I'll miss you more than I miss anything,even the bliss that I had lostI want you more than my hidden desiresthat tug at my aching heartBut it seems that you have ran off,out of my arms,and out of sightAnd I'm sorryfor saying all the wrong words,and being all the wrong things.I love youso even if you don't come back,my love will forever be for no one but you.
To Whom it Doesn't ConcernHello.I've truly realized how none of you care.You act as if you do, but in the end, you are concerned with no one but yourselves.I had never asked for much. A simple kindness was worth too much to give, it seems, but I understand.I wasn't the person you were looking to give it to.I learned that I've never wanted to be.Never wanted to breathe, never wanted to live.Mostly because, there is nothing worth living for, not even myself.Why must I suffer? Why do I let myself face this agony and this pain?You say that this is selfish, because it'll only inflict pain upon others, but there'll be none.Because you don't care.It is selfish of you to degrade me for wanting release, for letting me crumble and wither away.But you don't care.You're just like everyone else. And hopefully you will suffer just as much as I have to.It's unbearable. It's indescribable.It's consumed me.I've turned into this monster.And it's time that I rid the world of it.Farewell.
I don't careI no longer careIt's just a mere wound,just another drop of blood,and just a little sob.It becomes routine,part of the coldness of your hearts.Please tell me why God has chosen meto live on this planet.Somberly, along this oppressive path.I wanted nothing.And you got everything.
PastRevoke your “was”–Consign me not to “had” and “did”But rather “does.”I contain the infinite–”Contain,” not “contained”–And speak, soak, suffer, sitIn tongues newly-born that strainAfter mine and sense that my“Lives,” “breathes,” “dies,” “loves”Expand into multitudes greater than“Was.”
DownfallAnd in this dark harvest of seasonMy life has completely lost reason,For which or against to decide.All lost in a savage and endless, bleak tideIn sadness and in kindnessIn light and in darkness.In a boat made of hopeI shall sail to tomorrow,In a winding hurricaneMade of treachery and sorrow.There's a spear, endless, and colossal spear...Piercing, slashing though my head.Starting somewhere in heaven,Ending somewhere in hell.Fighting, burning, crying, crashing.Are the armies within.In my head they are all thrashing.On the heaven's and hell's whim.To be light or to be darkness.A perpetual array.It's not merely my choice,But the choice of the way.It's an option of the voice,It's a thin line of gray.Is it a choice forced by fate,Is it a pre-set time and date?Or a choice to which I myself sway?But here's our story anyway
."Nothing that I do will matter.As all things will merely shatter!"All my hopes thus darkness scatter,As it shoves me a decree.As it si
The DonorThe Doner 7/27/15I've had a good life.I have no regrets.It's time for me to die.What will be my legacy?These are things I wonder.How will I be remembered?Who will mourn me?Have I done enough?Did I appreciate the air I breathe?So I made a decision.A choice of the heart.When I die I will donateparts of me.Parts I hold dear.If in the future I can be helpfulto someone who is without - that willbe my purpose.My corneas, which helped me view beautyand ugliness in this world.I will give to someone who can't see.Maybe they have been blind all theirlife or maybe it's new and it kills them.If I can give them a glimpse of whatI saw then I will die with a grin on my face.My lungs ( although I had asthma and sufferedoccasionally when I was young ) couldbreathe new life into a child ora person with emphysema.Maybe they will be thankful for a second chance.And finally my heart. Which now beats fasterknowing my fate. I don't wish to die.But the cancer is coursing throug
How to Live in 2015Be born. That’s the easy part.Beg for new toys or take someone else’s.It doesn’t matter. Being selfish as a child is normal.Being selfish as an adult is normal. Get dirty. Stop taking everythingso seriously. You’re going to die.Don’t worry, everybody does it.Don’t fall in love, love is not a holeto fall into. Run into love, headfirst.Bite your tongue untilyou can taste the word no.Give away your secrets under a pseudonymfor someone else to sell.Chop off your arms and legs to pay for college,realize tuition rates doubled.Get a degree. Find a job. Hate your job.Find a vice. Keep it closer than your breath.Find God in an alleyway.Lose God like a set of keys. Die and be reborn as a memory.Die and be reborn as an afterthought.Die and be forgotten.Repeat.
Forgotten HallsAn ancient, sprawling maze to me,Familiar as I grew;It housed the rise of manyAnd saw the doom of few.Never did I stop to thinkOf those that came before;All I saw was my own path,My own tracks on the floor.And now I see it once againIts age making it new,Strangers faces alienThe air of nineties, too.I stood there when they tore it down,Laughing with my friends.Not once did I stop to mournThe era come to end.
Giving ThanksThank you--to the manwho stole my innocence.(No amount of showerswill wash awaythe contaminationthat clingsto my soul.)Thank you--to the womanwho drained my self-esteem.(All of my bones protrude,my skinis a sickly yellow,my hair is falling outby the fist full,and my teethare permanently stained.Am I pretty enough now?)Thank you--to the manwho laid his hands on me.(Skin to skin contactscares the living hell out of meand I, honest to God,wish I were dead.I'm not worthy of love.)Thank you--to the womanwho abandoned me.(Just the mere thoughtof having a bond with someonesickens me to my core.The streets taught me morethan you ever could.)Thank you--to the girlwho abuses me every day.(You covered my bodyand my heartin scars.I had to carve a smileinto my lipsso I'd have something nice to look atwhen I gaze in the mirror.)
The Time Has ComeThe time has come.I've preparedI've listenedI've ponderedI know thatmy choices are limited.Don't stop me, your efforts are futileThis is how the story ends.Goodbye.